“For months now I have worked till late at night”, I thought. “This is not right!”, “I had a discussion with you”, “You said it’ll be done this time”, were some of the flashes I used to get since past few weeks. These were some of the statements which I’ve had with my supervisor, or I wished I never have to say. Was it raining outside, or was I sweating? I couldn’t possibly tell, until I woke from a bad headache in the middle of the night; only to realise it was a bad dream. But why? I couldn’t stop cursing the current situation, it was the time of appraisal cycle in the company. A time similar to gloomy British winter nights where I would often feel chills running through me, have constant butterflies in my stomach, and waiting for the outcome meant being at war with assorted emotions.
“Have patience, have faith! Things will be better soon”, said a lot of people. With every passing day, I was getting disheartened. Not only was I losing interest in doing any work, I was letting my emotions overrun me at home too. I thought, “If I had not be doing well at work, someone would have pointed it out”. In spite of getting so many appreciations, being able to perform well, and deliver the work with utmost quality I failed to understand what I was lacking. Was I not deserving? Or, was I not qualified. Of course the answer was “NO!”. Not because I was desperate for it to happen, but I had gained insights from other people as well. Everyone would try and comfort me, tell me all the good things, and praise me. But no one could figure out why my growth had stagnated? Why I have not been promoted for so long?
This is practically the situation with most of us, especially for those who work in private sector firms and have annual or biannual appraisal cycles. Even after putting so much of hard work we fail to get that promotion or annual hike which we have been seeking since long. We can’t stop thinking about the worst feeling when we realise that the manager got us working when he needed us the most, but he would have an excuse or two up his sleeves whenever we would try to talk about our growth. Thinking of it, it’s an appraisal cycle for the manager too. If he is able to get the work done, without having to offer much then it’s appreciated for his growth as well.
So was this all a farce to benefit my manager or supervisor only?
I suppose not…
In my honest opinion, it depends on how well you have set the stage for yourself. Your soft skills should be able to complement your technical skills you. I have seen a lot of people: planning in advance to use their soft skills while they prepare playing ground for themselves, where they can showcase their abilities; genuinely or using deception. The important thing to understand is that any person who has to acknowledge you or your work should be able to make you stand out from the crowd. Only then, will he be able to get convinced and do so with seniors. Either you are doing different things, which no one else is doing; or you are doing things, which everyone else is doing, differently!
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